I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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