WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm sobbing to NWA
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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