Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
