His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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