things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
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she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
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I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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