dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
