so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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