Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
