Screwed.edu
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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