i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
