get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
