Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
