Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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