You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
