C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
