Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
