yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
