come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize