he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
