are you so shy because you have an std?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I have aggressive nipples.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
