it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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