Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
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The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
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Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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