And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
