ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
did i just pee glitter
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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