this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
