gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
