at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
