I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
