I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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