I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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