we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
