I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
