its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
