Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize