I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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