Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
