You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
