I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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