PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize