that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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