Got a toothbrush?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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