isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
