I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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