He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
