i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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