Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize