I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
