NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
