I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
