i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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