somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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