He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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