Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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