We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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