whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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