i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
