I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
