dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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