its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
