Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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