Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
