she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
