just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
