3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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