When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
