She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
